Fight or Flee or...? .......... Parables 674

June 20, 2000

Our neighbor boys discovered a coyote in one of their grain bins. Ignoring any danger, they waved sticks and shouted at the critter who cowering in a corner. Finally the coyote dashed past them, tail between its legs, determined to escape. The boys hooted and called themselves brave.

For humans and animals both, threatening situations produces a response. Adrenalin begins to flow. The mind makes a choice: do we pick up a stick? Or look for the nearest exit?

For the boys, fighting was brandishing since that coyote was more afraid of them then they of it. In other situations, fighting might mean actual combat. However, it often takes another form. If we chose to stick around, we might resist with noise, anger, anxiety and determination.

This week, I fought using all four. I talked a lot. I got mad. I worried and chewed on my situation trying to figure out what to do about it. I determined how to win. But nothing worked. All I got out of it was a headache, a sore neck, and fatigue. Fighting is hard work. In my case, the hard work would have been worth it had I won, but I wound up fighting a foe bigger than myself. It didn’t start that way but my battle was against God.

No wonder I was worn out. Someone told me that beating your head against the wall uses 150 calories an hour. Imagine the calorie burn from fighting the Almighty. I should have lost weight as well as sleep and peace of mind.

From this experience, I realized some realities. First, it is true that the person losing the argument is the one who does the most talking. The more I slipped into second place, the more I tried verbal defense, but it didn’t work.

Second, it is not wrong to be angry but it is wrong to let anger motivate sin. Someone lied about me and lied to me. I was hot. God gets angry at lies (He is Truth so He can do that) and since He lives in me, some of that anger may have been His. What I did wrong was call down fire on the other person. I judged him, accused him, and if I could have reached his neck, I might have rattled his teeth. Not a godly response to lies. Besides exhaustion, this added fuel to the situation.

Anxiety didn’t help either. I worried myself stiff over this. How would other people react to these lies? Would they believe them? Would the lies hurt others? What could I do to stop this person? How should I defend myself? I plotted (not hard for a writer) but the ending eluded me. Determination might do it for some people, but without a cool head, a reasonable solution, and any energy, my resolve was rapidly shriveling. Besides, God reminded me of a few things.

“When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” My dad often told me there is a reason we have two ears and one mouth, and that no one can listen and talk at the same time. To really hear God and His solution, I had to shut up.

“In your anger, do not sin: do not let the sun go down while your are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Anger may be justified but it needs to be resolved quickly, not nursed. By persisting in it, I pushed God aside and let my enemy confuse the issue with more lies.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

My tension started to dissolve when I began to thank God for allowing this to happen, and for His promise to use it for good in my life. As my determination to fix things or get even faded, it was replaced by prayer for the one who upset me. At that, I was presented with another of God’s mysteries; I could think about the incident yet not feel upset. I do not understand how that works but it sure beats having a headache.